made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
