Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
