You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
