why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
