we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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