That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
