You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
