Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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