i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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