i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
