he thought i was a dude.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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