Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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