people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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