Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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