if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
