Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
