wanna go halves on a baby?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
