Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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