I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
