your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
