dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
