the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
40s are totally the cure
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
