maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
