He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
