I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
