love makes seman taste better
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
