I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
