I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
