I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Plan B is the new Plan A
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
