Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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