Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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