My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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