Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
