I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
