She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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