How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
