And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize