the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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