peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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