yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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