if i can run in heels then i can drive
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
