***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
