like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
