Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
