She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
