Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
