Its about making memories worth repressing
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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