Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he fucked my hip out of place.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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