It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
