I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
