So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
