I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
