I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
