I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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