thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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