white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
