He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He felt like a one man threesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
