So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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