I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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