i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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