What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
