At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
