ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
