I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
