Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize