i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
