I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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