so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
